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Life in The New Republic
The Cambridge Village

Man sieht nur das, was man weiß - Goethe

To know the future with such certainty is usually the prerogative of the prophets. Unfortunately in the Global Village we're surrounded by scrying eyes - whacking an USB 3.0, an half an inch into your Cerebellum gets you there in no more than the time it takes to spit on a Benefit Claimant.
Will you turn the fucking volume down?
I've woken up in the middle of a Soviet-era, eastern-European play, written by a man who spent 36 years strapped to a block of ice, in solitary confinement for farting in front of Stalin's daughter

A mass-suicide to protest

The fuckin' world is falling to pieces and I'm standing there like a bus-stop lunatic, screaming about how we're all fuckin doomed, with the disabled planning on a mass-suicide to protest, except it's not a play, I'm not mad, and I'm not waiting on a number 7 to go score some of that shit that gives your pet-dog the power of speech.

The iPad5 that will exist solely in teh mind of its narcissistic owner

What we find when we gaze out of our newly ennobled techno-eyes is dazzling waterfall of iPhone4, 5 and 6's, iPad4's and the not-even-there-at-all iPad5 that will exist solely in teh mind of its narcissistic owner, and cost over $17,000 retail.

@Puffles2010 - self-styled Dragon Fairy 

Meanwhile, coming in from my temporal lobe, I've got @Puffles2010 - self-styled Dragon Fairy with a penchant for *looksaway* and *buzzlin* into Tweet about a disturblingly unreal 'best friend'.

A proxy for slagging off Gypsies and Chavs

S/he paints a picture of a mythical land surrounding my home in Cambridge, where over-privileged do-gooders pontificate about the short comings Society, as a proxy for slagging off Gypsies and Chavs like everyone else.

Most annoying person on Twitter

MP for Cambridge, @JuliusMuppetMP
It is a wonderful world full of Disney creatures tranquillized and captured by formerly redundant US Navy Seals and released into the warm inviting liberal glow that is Julian Huppert MP's buttock cleft.

Ginger and distressingly hairy 

(I deleted this paragraph, because although I'm quite prepared to go to the High Court to defend my right to take the piss out of people, I'm not prepared to give a company of muff-waxers an opportunity for that much free publicity)

To drive the sick and disabled into penury

The New Republic sees a bright future for his newly denuded valley as he gears-up to play a leading role in the Coalition Government's plan to drive the sick and disabled into penury, homelessness, food-banks and ultimately suicide.


Ok, this is going to hurt... But credit where credit is due. Teh Muppet has signed an EDM demanding that the ConDems release the report that indicated that the world will split in two if the NHS Bill goes through;

Man sees only what Man knows - Goethe

Edited 11 Feb 2012. Substantive changes.

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